1
00:00:08,474 --> 00:00:13,476
Ha ha! Nacho earrings!
I'm hilarious!

2
00:00:13,557 --> 00:00:14,791
That's debatable.

3
00:00:14,825 --> 00:00:17,393
Aw, come on.
What's with all this traffic?

4
00:00:17,428 --> 00:00:18,661
And why is it all...

5
00:00:18,696 --> 00:00:20,663
Covered wagons?!

6
00:00:20,731 --> 00:00:22,398
Oh, no!

7
00:00:22,433 --> 00:00:23,499
No! No!

8
00:00:25,569 --> 00:00:28,404
Not today! Not today!

9
00:00:28,439 --> 00:00:30,573
Oh, heavens!
Goodness!

10
00:00:32,776 --> 00:00:34,577
Grunkle Stan, what's going on?

11
00:00:34,612 --> 00:00:38,381
We gotta get out of here...
before it's too late!

12
00:00:38,415 --> 00:00:41,384
They've circled the wagons!
We're trapped!

13
00:00:41,418 --> 00:00:43,786
No!!!

14
00:00:45,656 --> 00:00:48,658
I got a good feeling
about today.

15
00:00:48,692 --> 00:00:51,594
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
<font color="

16
00:01:35,706 --> 00:01:37,507
Dirty glass!
We got dirty glass!

17
00:01:37,541 --> 00:01:39,575
Dirty glass.
Ya, y.

18
00:01:39,610 --> 00:01:41,444
It's pioneer day.

19
00:01:41,478 --> 00:01:43,646
Every year these yahoos
dress up like idiots

20
00:01:43,681 --> 00:01:46,349
to celebrate the day
Gravity Falls was founded.

21
00:01:46,383 --> 00:01:49,385
Welcome to 1863!

22
00:01:49,420 --> 00:01:51,421
I will break you, little man!

23
00:01:51,455 --> 00:01:52,822
Aah! Aah!

24
00:01:52,856 --> 00:01:56,526
Wow, look! Candle dipping!

25
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,761
Whoa!
Gold panning!

26
00:01:58,796 --> 00:02:01,831
I now pronounce you
man and wife.

27
00:02:01,865 --> 00:02:03,599
I do!

28
00:02:03,634 --> 00:02:05,535
What you talkin' about?

29
00:02:05,569 --> 00:02:08,304
Oh, yeah, I remember this.

30
00:02:08,339 --> 00:02:12,475
In Gravity Falls
it used to be legal
to marry woodpeckers.

31
00:02:12,509 --> 00:02:15,445
Oh, it's still legal...
very legal.

32
00:02:15,479 --> 00:02:19,382
<i>Come one and all</i>
<i>for the opening ceremonies!</i>

33
00:02:19,416 --> 00:02:21,751
Grunkle Stan,
you comin'?
No thank you!

34
00:02:21,785 --> 00:02:23,653
Just remember if you
come back to the shack

35
00:02:23,687 --> 00:02:25,755
talking like these people,
you're dead to me!

36
00:02:25,789 --> 00:02:29,392
Thar's a carpetbagger
in the turnip cellar!

37
00:02:29,426 --> 00:02:31,527
Well, hornswaggle my haversack!

38
00:02:32,629 --> 00:02:35,431
Ha ha ha!
Dead to me!!!

39
00:02:35,466 --> 00:02:37,433
<i>Hear ye, hear ye!</i>

40
00:02:37,468 --> 00:02:41,604
<i>Ye olde commencement ceremony</i>
<i>is about to commence.</i>

41
00:02:41,638 --> 00:02:44,474
Whoo! I got a bell!

42
00:02:45,609 --> 00:02:48,378
Oh, no! Police! My purse!

43
00:02:48,412 --> 00:02:50,546
Ring ring! Ring ring!
Hoo!

44
00:02:50,581 --> 00:02:53,449
He sure loves his bell.

45
00:02:56,487 --> 00:02:57,687
Howdy, everyone.

46
00:02:57,721 --> 00:02:59,756
You all know me,
Pacifica Northwest,

47
00:02:59,790 --> 00:03:02,392
great-great-granddaughter
of town founder

48
00:03:02,426 --> 00:03:03,626
Nathaniel Northwest.

49
00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:05,361
I'm also very rich.

50
00:03:07,564 --> 00:03:09,632
Now, if you've got
the pioneer spirit,

51
00:03:09,666 --> 00:03:12,468
we ask you to come on up
and introduce yourself.

52
00:03:12,503 --> 00:03:14,370
Audience participation!

53
00:03:14,405 --> 00:03:17,473
I don't know, Mabel.
Isn't that girl kind of like
your arch enemy?

54
00:03:17,508 --> 00:03:20,443
That's water under the bridge.

55
00:03:20,477 --> 00:03:22,545
Our first newcomer is...

56
00:03:22,579 --> 00:03:23,713
Mabel.

57
00:03:23,747 --> 00:03:27,383
Yeah! Let's this this
pioneer day started!

58
00:03:27,418 --> 00:03:29,519
Right, guys?

59
00:03:29,553 --> 00:03:32,355
USA! USA!

60
00:03:32,389 --> 00:03:34,557
USA! USA!

61
00:03:34,591 --> 00:03:38,494
USA! USA!

62
00:03:38,529 --> 00:03:41,664
I'm sorry to break it to you,
but pioneer day is for
serious people,

63
00:03:41,796 --> 00:03:43,831
and you look and act
ridiculous.

64
00:03:43,865 --> 00:03:46,634
I mean, a puppy
playing basketball?

65
00:03:46,668 --> 00:03:48,536
Are you always this silly?

66
00:03:48,570 --> 00:03:50,804
Hey! I can be serious!

67
00:03:52,507 --> 00:03:55,509
You do have nachos
hanging from your ears, hon.

68
00:03:56,878 --> 00:03:58,879
Wow, I'm embarrassed for you.

69
00:03:58,914 --> 00:04:00,614
Give her a hand, everybody!

70
00:04:03,818 --> 00:04:05,853
Now, who wants to hear
more about <i>me?</i>

71
00:04:05,887 --> 00:04:07,421
Excuse me.

72
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,623
Every say, "Northwest."

73
00:04:09,658 --> 00:04:10,824
Northwest.

74
00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:13,594
We're perfect.

75
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:15,496
Hey, you okay?

76
00:04:15,530 --> 00:04:18,599
I need some
old-timey butterscotch.

77
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,568
Let's get out of here.

78
00:04:24,706 --> 00:04:26,407
Hey, there.

79
00:04:26,441 --> 00:04:28,776
Donkey boy. Give me a hand
with my car, huh?

80
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:32,880
Here in 1863
I have never heard tell
of a... car.

81
00:04:32,914 --> 00:04:35,849
Pray tell, what is
this magic wheel box?

82
00:04:35,884 --> 00:04:38,752
Ach! Come on, Steve,
you're a mechanic,
for Pete's sake.

83
00:04:38,787 --> 00:04:40,487
Cut me some slack!

84
00:04:40,522 --> 00:04:44,625
"Slack." I am unfamiliar
with this bold new expression.

85
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:45,826
I can't take this anymore!

86
00:04:45,860 --> 00:04:47,828
I'm getting dumber
every second I'm here!

87
00:04:47,862 --> 00:04:50,464
Are we gonna have to
intervene here?

88
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:52,833
Oh, look...
The <i>constable.</i>

89
00:04:52,867 --> 00:04:55,869
What are you gonna do,
throw me in "ye stocks"?

90
00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:57,771
Ha ha ha ha!

91
00:04:57,806 --> 00:04:59,607
Aw, come on!

92
00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,644
Hey, nice outfit, Gideon.

93
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,813
You actually look
<i>less</i> girly than usual.

94
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,481
Aha ha ha ha ha!

95
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:10,584
Why, Stanford, I'm just
a humble tomato farmer

96
00:05:10,619 --> 00:05:11,852
sellin' his wares.

97
00:05:11,886 --> 00:05:14,521
Whoops! I dropped one!

98
00:05:14,556 --> 00:05:16,457
Aah!
Whoops!

99
00:05:16,491 --> 00:05:18,626
I dropped another one.

100
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:20,761
Arghh!!

101
00:05:20,795 --> 00:05:23,697
Pioneer day!!!

102
00:05:28,436 --> 00:05:30,571
Dipper, can I
ask you something?

103
00:05:30,605 --> 00:05:32,873
Do you think I'm... Silly?

104
00:05:32,907 --> 00:05:35,509
Uh, <i>noooo.</i>

105
00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,478
Ohh! I <i>knew</i> it!

106
00:05:37,512 --> 00:05:39,580
The nacho earrings,
the sweater...

107
00:05:39,614 --> 00:05:40,881
I thought I was being charming,

108
00:05:40,915 --> 00:05:43,751
but I guess people see me
as a big joke.

109
00:05:46,688 --> 00:05:48,656
Come on, Mabel.
You love that sweater.

110
00:05:48,690 --> 00:05:51,492
I did before Pacifica
ruined it for me.

111
00:05:51,526 --> 00:05:52,726
She ruins <i>everything.</i>

112
00:05:52,761 --> 00:05:54,862
Pacifica!

113
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:57,564
Why Doe she think that being
related to the town founder

114
00:05:57,599 --> 00:05:59,466
means she gets to treat
everyone like garbage?

115
00:05:59,501 --> 00:06:00,834
Someone needs to
take her down a peg.

116
00:06:00,869 --> 00:06:03,604
Wait a minute!
I feel like I read something

117
00:06:03,638 --> 00:06:05,739
about Pacifica's
great-great-grandfather before.

118
00:06:05,774 --> 00:06:08,709
Of course!
Oh, this is perfect.

119
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:11,445
"In my investigations..."

120
00:06:11,479 --> 00:06:12,613
Should I do the voice?

121
00:06:12,647 --> 00:06:14,581
Unh-unh.
I'll just read normal.

122
00:06:14,616 --> 00:06:17,751
"In my investigations
I recently made a discovery.

123
00:06:17,786 --> 00:06:21,522
"Nathaniel Northwest
may not be the founder
of Gravity Falls.

124
00:06:21,556 --> 00:06:23,590
"I believe the proof
of this secret is buried

125
00:06:23,625 --> 00:06:26,527
"somewhere on
the enclosed document.

126
00:06:26,561 --> 00:06:28,829
If only I could
crack the code."

127
00:06:32,834 --> 00:06:34,768
Oh, man! If this
cover-up is true,

128
00:06:34,803 --> 00:06:37,438
it means Pacifica's
whole family is a fraud!

129
00:06:37,472 --> 00:06:38,739
This could be
a major conspiracy!

130
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:41,475
Really?
I gotta investigate this!

131
00:06:41,509 --> 00:06:43,477
Wait. I'm coming with you.

132
00:06:43,511 --> 00:06:45,813
Conspiracies are
serious, right?
Oh, yeah, definitely.

133
00:06:45,847 --> 00:06:47,681
Well, if I help you
crack this code,

134
00:06:47,716 --> 00:06:49,650
nobody could ever
call me silly again!

135
00:06:49,684 --> 00:06:51,618
Yeah! Mystery twins?

136
00:06:51,653 --> 00:06:52,853
I thought you hated that.

137
00:06:52,887 --> 00:06:54,688
I'm starting to accept it.

138
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,696
This is sheriff blubs.
We've got a code sepia.

139
00:07:02,731 --> 00:07:05,399
What?! And what
are you doing about it?

140
00:07:05,433 --> 00:07:06,600
I'm following them right now.

141
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:09,503
Find them and stop them.
There's no room for error.

142
00:07:09,537 --> 00:07:11,772
I understand.
Blubs out.

143
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:14,408
Deputy durland,
maintaining this cover-up

144
00:07:14,442 --> 00:07:17,478
is the mission we've been
training for our entire careers.

145
00:07:17,512 --> 00:07:19,580
Are you ready?
Whoo!

146
00:07:19,614 --> 00:07:22,816
If being delightful
was a crime, you'd be
breaking the law.

147
00:07:22,851 --> 00:07:24,585
Let's go get 'em!

148
00:07:24,619 --> 00:07:26,520
Whoo!
Ha ha ha ha!

149
00:07:31,526 --> 00:07:33,594
Den days,
from telling stories
piaround the fire. Enance

150
00:07:33,628 --> 00:07:35,462
so let's eat some books,
children.

151
00:07:35,530 --> 00:07:37,498
Go ahead, eat the books!

152
00:07:40,568 --> 00:07:43,270
All right, Mabel.
If we can prove that
Nathaniel Northwest

153
00:07:43,304 --> 00:07:45,272
wasn't the real founder
of Gravity Falls,

154
00:07:45,306 --> 00:07:47,274
it'll finally put
Pacifica in her place.

155
00:07:47,308 --> 00:07:49,576
And solving a mystery
will prove that I'm not silly,

156
00:07:49,611 --> 00:07:51,345
I'm <i>serious!</i>

157
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,616
Seriousss...

158
00:07:55,650 --> 00:07:58,185
We just need to crack this code.

159
00:07:58,219 --> 00:08:00,220
Let me see...

160
00:08:00,255 --> 00:08:02,189
It's not Egyptian,

161
00:08:02,223 --> 00:08:04,191
it's not numerology,

162
00:08:04,225 --> 00:08:06,193
it's not... wait! Of course!

163
00:08:06,227 --> 00:08:09,096
The triangle is
the alchemist's
symbol for flame.

164
00:08:09,130 --> 00:08:11,498
Lighting the parchment on fire
will reveal the secret message!

165
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:14,234
It's so obvious!

166
00:08:14,269 --> 00:08:17,204
All right. Let's just
light this sucker up and...

167
00:08:17,238 --> 00:08:20,274
Mabel!
Mwop! I just made a hat!

168
00:08:20,308 --> 00:08:23,477
Achh! I just did
something silly again!

169
00:08:23,511 --> 00:08:26,480
Wait. Mabel,
you folded it into a map.

170
00:08:28,349 --> 00:08:30,417
And I was gonna burn it.

171
00:08:30,451 --> 00:08:32,252
We were on the lookout
for two kids

172
00:08:32,287 --> 00:08:33,520
who might be reading.

173
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:36,423
We're hunting 'em down
for secret reasons. Whoo!

174
00:08:38,493 --> 00:08:40,260
Mrrrrp!

175
00:08:40,295 --> 00:08:42,296
Maybe we should
take this elsewhere.

176
00:08:42,330 --> 00:08:46,266
This map should lead us to...

177
00:08:46,301 --> 00:08:49,336
The Gravity Falls
Museum of History.

178
00:08:49,370 --> 00:08:51,171
You realize what
this means, Mabel.

179
00:08:51,206 --> 00:08:53,574
We're gonna have to <i>break in.</i>

180
00:08:56,211 --> 00:08:58,579
And those are your free
pioneer day passes

181
00:08:58,613 --> 00:09:01,515
and your balloons,
blue and pink.

182
00:09:03,384 --> 00:09:04,418
We're in.

183
00:09:04,452 --> 00:09:07,087
What are we gonna do next?

184
00:09:07,121 --> 00:09:09,523
Steal Thomas Jefferson's
rib cage?

185
00:09:09,557 --> 00:09:12,226
Ew. No. According to the map,

186
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:16,330
the next clue about
the real town founder
should be right... Here!

187
00:09:16,364 --> 00:09:18,398
We have to figure
this one out quick.

188
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:22,135
I have a feeling those cops
weren't at the library
to check out books.

189
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:24,338
I don't think the one
with the bell can read.

190
00:09:24,372 --> 00:09:26,173
So what is it, anyway?

191
00:09:27,475 --> 00:09:28,575
Hmm.
Hmm.

192
00:09:31,412 --> 00:09:32,479
Hmm.

193
00:09:32,513 --> 00:09:35,415
Hey, painting.
Be less stupid.

194
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:38,285
It worked!
Huh?

195
00:09:41,256 --> 00:09:44,224
Wait! It's not abstract,
it's upside-down!

196
00:09:44,259 --> 00:09:46,593
I think I've seen that statue
in the cemetery.

197
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,228
Let's go! Quick!

198
00:09:48,263 --> 00:09:50,464
Ow ow ow!
Ahh! Ow!
Head rush.

199
00:09:50,498 --> 00:09:52,566
I'm sorry, but we're
all out of pink balloons.

200
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,235
Why did we even come?

201
00:09:55,270 --> 00:09:57,137
<i>Officer blubs.</i>

202
00:09:57,171 --> 00:09:58,538
Blubs here.

203
00:09:58,573 --> 00:10:00,274
Have the targets
been apprehended?

204
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:02,209
Negative.
But we're close.

205
00:10:02,243 --> 00:10:05,312
I promise, those kids'll
never get past us.

206
00:10:05,346 --> 00:10:06,546
Hey! Wait!

207
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:11,184
Dang it!

208
00:10:12,353 --> 00:10:13,587
For the last time,

209
00:10:13,621 --> 00:10:16,290
we are not
going south for the winter!

210
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:18,592
Our home is <i>here!</i>

211
00:10:18,626 --> 00:10:20,494
You <i>always</i> say that!

212
00:10:21,629 --> 00:10:23,530
Come on...

213
00:10:23,564 --> 00:10:25,265
Come on. Aah!

214
00:10:26,601 --> 00:10:30,237
Well, if it isn't
Mabel's uncle,
Mr. Pines.

215
00:10:30,271 --> 00:10:32,172
Looking for this?
Yeah, yeah.

216
00:10:32,206 --> 00:10:33,273
What do you want, money?

217
00:10:33,308 --> 00:10:35,342
I want you to say that
the Northwest family

218
00:10:35,376 --> 00:10:37,511
is the best family
in Gravity Falls.

219
00:10:37,545 --> 00:10:40,380
Oh, sure.
You want that in writing?

220
00:10:40,415 --> 00:10:42,316
Mm-hmm...

221
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,417
There we go.

222
00:10:44,619 --> 00:10:47,287
Ha! I did that
with my mouth!

223
00:10:52,327 --> 00:10:53,660
Oh, come on!

224
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:55,495
Ah.

225
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:59,633
The statue must be pointing
to the next clue.

226
00:10:59,667 --> 00:11:03,203
Oh, cool!
She's picking my nose! Ha ha!

227
00:11:03,237 --> 00:11:04,404
Ach.

228
00:11:06,474 --> 00:11:07,541
Mabel, look!

229
00:11:07,575 --> 00:11:11,278
Ha! Who's silly now,
Pacifica? Bam!

230
00:11:11,312 --> 00:11:13,547
Ahh! Ow. Ow. Ow.
Okay.

231
00:11:15,650 --> 00:11:19,319
Now we're getting into
real conspiracy mode.

232
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:22,389
I feel serious.

233
00:11:22,423 --> 00:11:23,590
Mmm.

234
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:28,328
Okay, look out for Booby traps.

235
00:11:28,363 --> 00:11:30,364
Ha! Booby traps.

236
00:11:34,535 --> 00:11:36,536
Tranquilizer darts!
Aah!

237
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:52,185
It's a treasure trove
of historic-y, secret-y things.

238
00:11:54,455 --> 00:11:56,189
Oh, man!

239
00:11:56,224 --> 00:11:58,625
Ben Franklin
secretly <i>was</i> a woman.

240
00:11:58,659 --> 00:12:00,227
Hey, jackpot!

241
00:12:01,696 --> 00:12:04,331
Now we'll find out
who the <i>real</i> town founder was.

242
00:12:05,466 --> 00:12:08,368
"Let it be here recorded
that Nathaniel Northwest,

243
00:12:08,403 --> 00:12:10,237
"fabled founder
of Gravity Falls,

244
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,339
"was, in fact, a fraud,

245
00:12:12,373 --> 00:12:15,609
as well as a waste-shoveling
village idiot."

246
00:12:15,643 --> 00:12:17,344
Ha ha ha!

247
00:12:17,378 --> 00:12:20,313
Oh, bad news for Pacifica.

248
00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:22,416
Wait'll the papers
hear about this!

249
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,252
Once people see that I uncovered
a historical conspiracy,

250
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,154
they cou <i>never</i> call me silly!

251
00:12:27,188 --> 00:12:29,156
"The true founder
of Gravity Falls

252
00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:32,392
was sir lord,
Quentin Trembley, III, Esquire."

253
00:12:32,427 --> 00:12:34,461
Who's Quentin Trembley?

254
00:12:34,495 --> 00:12:36,363
<i>That's</i> none of your business!

255
00:12:37,498 --> 00:12:39,433
Whoo! We gotcha!

256
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,234
Whoo! Whoo...

257
00:12:41,269 --> 00:12:44,171
hmm... whoo-hoo...

258
00:12:44,205 --> 00:12:46,473
He got hit with
quite a few of those darts.

259
00:12:51,112 --> 00:12:53,313
But Quentin Trembley's
a matter ofyeah! Yeah... whoo...

260
00:12:53,347 --> 00:12:55,348
I think I might
be colorblind now.

261
00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:57,150
What do you mean,
national security?

262
00:12:57,185 --> 00:12:59,219
And who <i>is</i> Quentin Trembley,
anyway?

263
00:12:59,253 --> 00:13:01,054
See for yourself.

264
00:13:04,634 --> 00:13:06,769
Ahh, black and white?!

265
00:13:06,803 --> 00:13:08,537
Shh! Mabel.

266
00:13:08,572 --> 00:13:09,772
<i>If you're watching this,</i>

267
00:13:09,806 --> 00:13:12,508
<i>then you are</i>
<i>one of eight people</i>
<i>in these United States</i>

268
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,610
<i>with clearance</i>
<i>to view this information.</i>

269
00:13:14,644 --> 00:13:19,415
<i>In fact, I myself</i>
<i>will be shot as soon as</i>
<i>the filming is complete.</i>

270
00:13:19,449 --> 00:13:22,351
<i>What? No? Ha!</i>
<i>Well, that's a relief!</i>

271
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,486
<i>Of all of America's secrets,</i>

272
00:13:24,521 --> 00:13:26,755
<i>the most embarrassing</i>
<i>was that of Quentin Trembley.</i>

273
00:13:26,790 --> 00:13:30,326
The eighth-and-a-half president
of the United States.

274
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,361
President?!
Eighth-and-a-half?!

275
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:36,665
<i>After winning</i>
<i>the 1837 election</i>
<i>in a landslide,</i>

276
00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:39,535
<i>Quentin Trembley</i>
<i>quickly gained a reputation</i>

277
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,570
<i>as America's</i>
<i>silliest president.</i>

278
00:13:41,605 --> 00:13:44,773
<i>He waged war on pancakes,</i>
<i>appointed six babies</i>
<i>to the supreme court,</i>

279
00:13:44,808 --> 00:13:47,743
<i>and issued</i>
<i>the de-pants-ipation</i>
<i>proclamation.</i>

280
00:13:47,777 --> 00:13:50,379
<i>His state of the union speech</i>
<i>was even worse.</i>

281
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,514
<i>The only thing we have to fear</i>

282
00:13:52,549 --> 00:13:55,651
<i>is gigantic,</i>
<i>man-eating spiders!</i>

283
00:13:55,685 --> 00:13:56,752
<i>He was kicked out of office</i>

284
00:13:56,786 --> 00:13:58,454
<i>and escaped to</i>
<i>an uncharted valley</i>

285
00:13:58,488 --> 00:13:59,722
<i>he named Gravity Falls,</i>

286
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:01,590
<i>after plummeting into it</i>
<i>at high speed.</i>

287
00:14:01,625 --> 00:14:03,792
<i>Trembley's shameful term</i>
<i>was erased from history</i>

288
00:14:03,827 --> 00:14:07,563
<i>and officially replaced</i>
<i>by William Henry Harrison</i>
<i>as president</i>

289
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:11,333
<i>and local nobody</i>
<i>as founder of Gravity Falls.</i>

290
00:14:11,368 --> 00:14:14,403
<i>The whereabouts</i>
<i>of president Trembley's body</i>
<i>are unknown.</i>

291
00:14:15,739 --> 00:14:17,606
Until now.

292
00:14:18,675 --> 00:14:19,742
Whoa!

293
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,777
Is that, like,
Amber or something?

294
00:14:21,811 --> 00:14:23,579
The fool thought
he could live forever

295
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:26,715
by encasing himself in a block
of solid peanut brittle.

296
00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:28,784
Smooth move,
Mr. President!

297
00:14:28,818 --> 00:14:32,321
Finding Trembley's body
was our special mission.

298
00:14:32,355 --> 00:14:34,623
And now, thanks to you,
it's complete.

299
00:14:34,658 --> 00:14:36,358
Who knew all we had to do

300
00:14:36,393 --> 00:14:39,461
was follow a little girl's
trail of candy wrappers?

301
00:14:39,496 --> 00:14:41,530
Ohh, silly!

302
00:14:41,564 --> 00:14:43,399
Now that you know the truth,

303
00:14:43,433 --> 00:14:46,402
well, we can't let you
go around talkin' about it.

304
00:14:46,436 --> 00:14:48,370
Does that mean...
are you gonna kill us?!

305
00:14:48,405 --> 00:14:49,672
Oh, no!
No, no.

306
00:14:49,706 --> 00:14:51,573
Calm down now, buddy,
calm down.

307
00:14:51,608 --> 00:14:54,777
We're just gonna escort you
and all this stuff
back to Washington.

308
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:57,646
You ain't comin' back,
by the way.

309
00:15:00,417 --> 00:15:02,451
Whoo-hoo!
We got fold-out beds!

310
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:05,487
Good thing I brought
my book of spooky ghost stories!

311
00:15:05,522 --> 00:15:07,690
I brought rope for
friendship bracelets!

312
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:11,360
Anyone there?! Help!

313
00:15:11,394 --> 00:15:13,295
Hey! Let us out!

314
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:17,332
Ohh. I can't believe I left
a trail of candy wrappers.

315
00:15:17,367 --> 00:15:19,401
This is all my fault.

316
00:15:19,436 --> 00:15:21,704
Pacifica had me pegged
all along.

317
00:15:21,738 --> 00:15:23,505
I'm just a silly failure,

318
00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:26,575
like that embarrassing
president what's-his-name.

319
00:15:32,582 --> 00:15:33,582
Aaah!
Aahh!

320
00:15:33,616 --> 00:15:35,784
It is I, Quentin Trembley.

321
00:15:37,821 --> 00:15:40,456
You're alive! But how?

322
00:15:40,490 --> 00:15:44,426
Peanut brittle really does have
life-sustaining properties!

323
00:15:44,461 --> 00:15:46,729
You're not silly,
you're brilliant!

324
00:15:46,763 --> 00:15:49,398
And so are you, dear girl,

325
00:15:49,432 --> 00:15:52,735
for following my clues
and freeing me from
my delicious tomb!

326
00:15:52,769 --> 00:15:56,371
He's right!
Making maps into hats,
hanging upside-down;

327
00:15:56,406 --> 00:15:57,706
Your silliness solved the code

328
00:15:57,741 --> 00:16:00,476
that serious cops couldn't crack
in a hundred years!

329
00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:01,810
Oh, stop it.

330
00:16:01,845 --> 00:16:03,712
By Jefferson!

331
00:16:03,747 --> 00:16:07,583
We seem to be trapped in
some sort of crate-shaped box.

332
00:16:07,617 --> 00:16:09,685
It's a crate,
Mr. President.

333
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:12,454
Good thing I have
the president's key,

334
00:16:12,489 --> 00:16:15,457
which can open
any lock in America.

335
00:16:20,463 --> 00:16:21,697
I don't think
that's gonna work.

336
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,500
Wood! My age-old enemy.

337
00:16:24,534 --> 00:16:25,701
In order to get out of here,

338
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:29,371
this is going to take
the silliest plan
ever conceived.

339
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,640
I think I know who can help you.

340
00:16:31,674 --> 00:16:34,443
Hmm. How about...

341
00:16:34,477 --> 00:16:36,378
That hole?

342
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,447
We will leap through it!

343
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:42,417
Almost. Almost there... Good...

344
00:16:42,452 --> 00:16:43,719
Keep pushing.

345
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,621
I'm not sure this is working.

346
00:16:45,655 --> 00:16:47,756
Trust the silliness!

347
00:16:47,791 --> 00:16:50,359
Fiddlesticks!
Keep going...

348
00:16:51,461 --> 00:16:53,595
Is that my third wife Sandy?

349
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,402
Well, we didn't fit
through the hole.

350
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,671
Let's rebuild the box
and try again.

351
00:17:02,705 --> 00:17:04,406
We gotta get out of here!

352
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,607
Also good.

353
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:09,578
Blubs!

354
00:17:15,552 --> 00:17:16,752
Give me that!

355
00:17:27,430 --> 00:17:29,464
There is...

356
00:17:29,499 --> 00:17:31,567
No escape!

357
00:17:31,601 --> 00:17:34,436
I gotta take a knee.

358
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,638
Are you okay?
Can I get you
anything?

359
00:17:36,673 --> 00:17:40,542
Edwin durland, you are
a diamond in the rough.

360
00:17:40,577 --> 00:17:43,512
Sheriff blubs,
do you really want
to lock us all up

361
00:17:43,546 --> 00:17:45,514
in a government
facility somewhere?

362
00:17:45,548 --> 00:17:46,682
I've got no choice!

363
00:17:46,716 --> 00:17:48,650
Our orders come from
the very top!

364
00:17:48,685 --> 00:17:50,552
Wait!

365
00:17:50,587 --> 00:17:53,589
Quentin, did you ever sign
an official resignation?

366
00:17:53,623 --> 00:17:57,593
No, sir. I ate a salamander
and jumped out the window.

367
00:17:57,627 --> 00:17:59,728
Then technically
you're still legally

368
00:17:59,762 --> 00:18:02,331
the president of
the United States, right?

369
00:18:02,365 --> 00:18:04,399
You've gotta answer
<i>this</i> guy now!

370
00:18:04,434 --> 00:18:05,467
Huh?
Huh?

371
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:08,337
As president of these
several United States,

372
00:18:08,371 --> 00:18:11,673
I hereby order you
to pretend none of this
ever happened.

373
00:18:11,708 --> 00:18:13,675
And go on a delightful vacation.

374
00:18:13,710 --> 00:18:16,311
Ow! Yes.

375
00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:17,512
Vacation?

376
00:18:17,547 --> 00:18:19,548
What place have you
always wanted to visit?

377
00:18:19,582 --> 00:18:21,416
One, two...

378
00:18:21,451 --> 00:18:24,620
Silly water fun slides
in grand lakes, Michigan!

379
00:18:26,556 --> 00:18:29,658
Bye-bye!
Bye!

380
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:33,328
You've done a great service
to your country, Mabel.

381
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:36,698
As thanks, I'd like to make you
an official U.S. congressman.

382
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,602
I'm legalizing everything!

383
00:18:40,637 --> 00:18:42,537
And roderick...
Uh, actually...

384
00:18:42,572 --> 00:18:44,573
you, dear boy,
are on your way to unlocking

385
00:18:44,607 --> 00:18:46,575
the mysteries of
this great land,

386
00:18:46,609 --> 00:18:50,379
so I'd like you to have
my president's key.

387
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:57,352
And then he chased me around
and spanked me with a paddle
for, like, three hours.

388
00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,521
George Washington was a jerk.

389
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,589
Agreed.

390
00:19:01,824 --> 00:19:03,492
Oh!

391
00:19:03,526 --> 00:19:05,394
Kick her off the team.

392
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:10,265
Hey, Pacifica! I uncovered
a government conspiracy

393
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:12,668
about the eighth-and-a-half
president of the United States!

394
00:19:12,702 --> 00:19:14,336
Who's silly now?

395
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,505
What? Who <i>is</i>
<i>that idiot?</i>

396
00:19:16,539 --> 00:19:19,274
Put up your Dukes,
you bald fiend!

397
00:19:19,309 --> 00:19:21,677
The eighth-and-a-half president
of America.

398
00:19:21,711 --> 00:19:24,579
How is he still alive?

399
00:19:24,614 --> 00:19:27,549
Well, turns out
you can hibernate
in peanut brittle and it...

400
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:31,620
Ha ha ha! Wow!
You really are a sad,
dumb little girl.

401
00:19:31,654 --> 00:19:33,722
Nice top hat, by the way.

402
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:36,658
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha!
Good one, daughter.

403
00:19:36,693 --> 00:19:39,561
Ooh! I see your car
is stuck in the mud.

404
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:41,563
Enjoy walking home.

405
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,536
Aren't you gonna tell her about
her ate-gray ampa-gray?

406
00:19:47,570 --> 00:19:50,572
You know what, Dipper?
I've got nothing to prove.

407
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,642
I've learned to see
silly as awesome!

408
00:19:55,712 --> 00:19:57,746
Well, I haven't
learned anything!

409
00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:59,448
Hey, Pacifica!

410
00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,685
Nathaniel Northwest
didn't found Gravity Falls,

411
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,520
and your whole family is a sham.

412
00:20:05,555 --> 00:20:07,322
Deal with it!

413
00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:11,727
What?! Mom!!!

414
00:20:11,761 --> 00:20:14,429
Man, revenge is underrated.

415
00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:15,664
That felt awesome!

416
00:20:15,698 --> 00:20:17,733
Children, I am
needed elsewhere.

417
00:20:17,767 --> 00:20:20,769
Just know that
I'll always be
right here...

418
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:23,805
On the negative
twelve dollar bill.

419
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,674
Whoa.

420
00:20:25,708 --> 00:20:27,409
This is worthless.

421
00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:29,378
It's less then worthless,
my boy.

422
00:20:29,412 --> 00:20:31,380
Trembley away!

423
00:20:35,518 --> 00:20:36,818
Where do you think he's going?

424
00:20:36,853 --> 00:20:39,388
I'm gonna say...
Off a cliff.

425
00:20:39,422 --> 00:20:42,391
And then Soos came by
and talked to me
for like an hour.

426
00:20:42,425 --> 00:20:43,792
You've been through so much.

427
00:20:46,396 --> 00:20:47,596
It works!

428
00:20:47,630 --> 00:20:50,832
So what's with the top hat?
I am a congressman.

429
00:20:50,867 --> 00:20:53,835
Pardon me?
You are officially
pardoned.

430
00:20:55,705 --> 00:20:59,408
Oy! You a <i>never</i> gonna
make sense, are you, kid?

431
00:20:59,442 --> 00:21:00,842
No, I'm not, Grunkle Stan.

432
00:21:00,877 --> 00:21:02,744
No, I'm not.

433
00:21:02,779 --> 00:21:05,480
Mabel away!

434
00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:07,649
I'm okay!

435
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:11,386
Esteemed gentlemen
supreme court, States

436
00:21:11,421 --> 00:21:13,655
I implore you to
rethink your decision!

437
00:21:16,826 --> 00:21:19,694
Very well. But who
would you have replace me?

438
00:21:19,729 --> 00:21:21,329
Mama.

439
00:21:21,364 --> 00:21:22,464
That old crone?!

440
00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:24,699
Ba ba ba...

441
00:21:24,734 --> 00:21:27,569
Chief justice num-num,
you're spitting up on yourself!

442
00:21:27,603 --> 00:21:30,439
Now... ohh! Oh, come on!

443
00:21:30,473 --> 00:21:32,441
This is a courtroom! I...

444
00:21:32,475 --> 00:21:33,742
this... this is a...

445
00:21:33,776 --> 00:21:36,411
this is a dark day for America.

446
00:21:36,436 --> 00:21:38,552
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru. Support Us and Donate.
